What Happened, What I Felt, Who Am I

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen reveal why your kitchen argument about the missed appointment was never about the appointment: every difficult conversation is actually three simultaneous conversations. The Harvard Negotiation Project framework distinguishes the what-happened layer from the feelings layer and the silent identity layer, where questions like "Am I competent?" and "Am I worthy of love?" resolve in seconds while you're still citing dates. The authors' sharpest move: replacing the blame question with the contribution question, turning a trial into an investigation.

You'll learn:

- Why "You always do this" is emotion wearing a fact costume

- How the third story opens dialogue without assigning fault

- The single word that breaks all-or-nothing identity verdicts